Monday, September 20 – What would you do?

It has been a question that we’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this week – how will we use this time? We know that, starting tomorrow, we’ll be entering a pretty tough stretch. To be honest, we are afraid of what this week will hold. But Heath responded really well to a lighter regimen last weekend, and so we’ve had a week that he hasn’t felt too poorly. Thus the question “In the calm before the storm, what do we do?” I wonder if you have had times in your life like this?

Martin Luther supposedly said (you can argue with the internet on the reliability of the quote, and some of the specific wording), “Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” I’ve been thinking about that a lot this week. How do we live with boldness and courage, with compassion and hope? How do we tend to our daily responsibilities, but do so in light of what is to come?

It has been a really good week. A lot of the focus has been on making sure Heath built up a little reserve when the heavy duty meds hit him next week. We expect him to be sick and feel pretty poorly, not in the best condition to eat and drink. But over the past few weeks he hasn’t been too sick, which means he’s been able to eat and drink, LOTS of mac and cheese and gatorade, in an attempt to put on a few pounds. We have been successful in that regard.

EB and Wilson went to school (but not too much, thanks to a power outage at Jordan High on Monday, and a day and a half as our Jewish brothers and sisters observed Yom Kippur). It was not an overly strenuous school week:) Tennis practice. Baseball practice. Some long evening dog walks. Heath has put some good energy into catching up on school work, too. I did a little bit of work, and my email traffic continues to decrease, thanks in large part to a gracious congregation and very competent staff. The saints of First Burlington are also doing so much so Carrie can focus on being present here.

As the week ended we also had time to spend with some wonderful people. Our friend Shelley came over for a porch visit on Thursday while I was with Wilson at baseball. Ella Brooks celebrated a friend’s birthday on Friday, then had the chance to go to Charlotte with Montreat friends for Saturday and Sunday. Wilson had a baseball game Saturday (playing a little catcher below). Heath and Carrie went to the game, along with Carrie’s parents. It almost felt normal as we had a sandwich and watched the joys of South Durham LIttle League. I was able to assist with the funeral for the mother of a cherished colleague. Saturday night, thanks to some friends, Wilson and I went to the Duke/Northwestern football game, and Carrie and Heath had an evening to relax and then went on a dinner date and sat outside. We mowed the lawn and vacuumed and did a bunch of laundry to prepare the house.

Sunday was another gift. The Rev Joe Clifford, a dear friend from my preaching group, preached for the saints at Westminster. We took the boys to church school on the courtyard. It was the first real meeting for Heath’s confirmation class, and he wanted to start it with all of his buddies. He may not be back for awhile, but made it today. The Rev. Bob Dunham preached at First Presbyterian in Burlington – Carrie was on the schedule to preach there today. These gifts from colleagues are so meaningful. Joe and Jennifer Clifford came to have lunch on the porch, and Joe spoiled the heck out of Rosie. In the afternoon Heath was able to have a last-minute hang-out with a few of his buddies at Pelicans Sno-balls outside. He hadn’t seen many of them in awhile, and it may be a while before they get to hang out again. These friendships matter a great deal.

Sunday night while Carrie vacuumed, I went back to pick EB up from youth group at church. The boys wanted to ride along. As I stepped out to say hello to a friend EB walked right to the driver’s seat and shut the door with a smile. Heath wanted to drive around the nearby neighborhoods on the way home. “I may not get out for a while, so can we drive some extra?” They cranked up some country music and as the evening settled in they flipped from song to song, singing probably a little more loudly than the neighbors would have preferred as we meandered through Hope Valley on the way home.

By the time you read this on Monday, we’ll have gotten Wilson and EB off to school and will be on the way to Duke. We check in at 10am in the clinic, and hope to be in a room by mid-afternoon. They will access his port and begin the process of fluids, his pre-meds to mitigate side effects, and then the combination of pills and infusions that will shape the next few days. We’ll hold each other and pray that these meds will kill the cancer and won’t do too much harm to his body at the same time. We expect to be in the hospital all week.

Back to singing in the car on the way home. One of our favorites is, “There is no ‘I’ in beer,” by Brad Paisley. Okay, maybe it is one of my favorites and the kids humor me. Wilson and I have had fun picking out the other musicians and athletes in the video. Again, it’s completely silly. But I like to think of it as an ode to the value of community. 😊 So, put your feet up, sing along, and give thanks to God that we don’t have to walk this path by ourselves. Maybe even plant an apple tree. Please, please know how grateful we are for all of you.

40 replies
  1. Charlotte Edens says:

    Thank you for showing us your week behind. Lots of prayer warriors will be “with you all” this week. 🙏🏼
    Better Together! ❤️
    Charlotte E

    Reply
  2. Charlotte Edens says:

    Thank you for the view of your week behind and know that lots of folks are “with you” this week. 🙏🏼 Better together! ❤️
    Charlotte

    Reply
  3. Mary-Todd Peters says:

    Praying! I had not seen the video so thanks for THAT! Actually it was entertaining and I just might have to try that ball and beer can trick-although I am sure many a beer was spilled and wasted in the making of that video! You are all so loved. You are not alone. We are in this together–as their is no “I” in beer. God’s peace, patience, kindness, love, perseverance surround you all and give you what you need every moment that you need it. Big hugs! Big Love! MT and Family

    Reply
  4. Jane and Rocky says:

    Prayers ascending for a week that is full of love and healing for Heath. May the meds do the work intended and not be too rough. Prayers for strength and patience for all Tuttles! Love to you all. ♥️

    Reply
  5. Hugh Mayronne & Penny says:

    Saw Grandpa Bob at Church yesterday. He and Pat are looking forward to being with their precious kids for a couple of weeks. You are in the prayers of many of us at Black Mountain Presbyterian.

    Reply
  6. Faye says:

    I hope you realize how important you are making us feel by your all-inclusive commentary . We are
    definitely all in this together. Thank you.
    Thoughts and prayers for a successful week.
    Faye

    Reply
  7. Rebecca Glick says:

    Praying for successful procedures, treatments, love, comfort for Heath. I first saw Heath when he and Wilson took up the offering, and the glow on your face as you watched them. I look forward to that moments again! May God be with you every step on the way on this journey. Love and prayers…

    Reply
  8. Karen Langerman (Stallings) says:

    My prayers continue for Heath and the whole family on this difficult day of a difficult journey. Thank you for sharing the moments, the reflections, the smiling faces, hard moments, and the grace. Sending love..

    Reply
  9. Nancye B. Bryan says:

    Thank you for posting. Love the update. Praying, praying for a week that goes better than expected and brings excellent results. Love to Tuttles, one and all!

    Reply
  10. kim garcia says:

    Ooohh, you had GOOD seats for the football game! 🙂 Sounds like a good week of preparation. Lifting you all in prayers of strength and healing. Sending love and all best wishes for the week to go well.

    Reply
  11. Pauline Leveille says:

    Sending much love and all the prayers from me, Ken, Skye, and even Luna the cat, for strong medicine and strong bodies working together to beat this down ❤️

    Reply
  12. Terry Hammersley says:

    Your weekend was so absolutely normal, I could feel the happiness! Even the vacuuming probably seemed like a little respite. But now it’s down to business. In Dialectal Behavioral Therapy, they talk about how accepting what IS helps lessen suffering because it gets you out of the “what if?” thoughts. It’s not easy to do, knowing you would never choose any of this for Heath or anyone else. But today you are totally focused on the present and what you can do every minute to support Heath and his caregivers. And the rest of us are here praying for you and sending our love. Just get through today and take good care.

    Reply
  13. Sharon says:

    We take “normal” for granted so much. May we always appreciate those simple times! Many, many prayers for Heath and all of you as you go through the coming weeks!

    Reply
  14. Jan McCallum says:

    So happy to see you are making the most of every moment and reveling in the little things! What a great example y’all are (yet again) as you face the obstacles in your paths with courage, faith, optimism, and a healthy dose of reality. Much love and many prayers for a tolerable and cancer-killing week. xx

    Reply
  15. Shannon says:

    Many in the Fourth Church family up here in Chicago are praying for your family, in particular, for Heath and healing. I am for sure. Love to you all.

    Reply
  16. Katherine Ryker says:

    The whole Almquist family is praying for Heath, your family and the hands and minds of the medical staff working with you all right now. Thank you for sharing these updates! Lots of love, Tuttle family.

    Reply
  17. Michael Poulos says:

    Thanks for sharing these reflections a and know we are lifting y’all up each day this week. We love y’all.
    Michael and Julie

    Reply
  18. Judie Waters says:

    Know that we are an army of saints, praying with all our hearts. We hope you will feel the calm of the Holy Spirit’s presence as you move through this week.

    Reply
  19. Ann Flagg says:

    Steady prayers for all of your family, I know your hearts are heavy, but God continues to hold your hands with His reassuring Love. Adding our love and more prayers this week.

    Reply
  20. Presley Bright says:

    Thank you for sharing the quote from Martin Luther. I agree wholeheartedly. I’m glad you were all able to appreciate this gifts of this week.

    Reply
  21. Daryl and Kim Fisher says:

    What a beautiful message and reminder that we are not in this alone. We will continue to cover you all in prayer and love! 🙏💜🙏

    Reply
  22. Mary Elizabeth Hanchey says:

    Thanks for this. Love y’all so much. I’ll be holding you in the light today, this week, and through all the hard to come.

    Reply
  23. Melissa Brown says:

    Sending an abundance of prayers and love. Prayers continue for these meds to kick this cancer’s behind while not causing too much harm to Heath. Many prayers for the doctors and nurses as well to guide them. And an abundance of calming prayers for Mom, Dad, EB and Wilson as you continue on this chapter alongside Heath. Much love from VA.

    Reply
  24. Betty Berghaus says:

    Thanks for sharing this. It’s good to know what is going on. It gives all of us who care more specific ways to pray. Prayers abound.

    Reply

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